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Posts Tagged ‘India’

india_00006140We are Indians, we take pride in finding fault with every single thing in this country but never get enough time to fix them. We are Indians, We seem to cheer for our nation only when there are cricket matches, but have no shame in betting for or fixing up those matches. We are Indians, We claim to fight against caste system day and night, but demand for every single reservation possible. We are Indians, We flood Facebook, twitter and even google plus, with patriotic posts prior to Independence Day, but use the same media to insult and deface our country in front of the world.

We are Indians,We are proud of our monuments and heritage when we describe them to a foreign colleague or delegate, but enjoy writing our names on those walls and takes pride in painting them with our pee. We are Indians, We crib about falling value of Rupee and inflammation, but adopt illegal methods to  avoid taxes and VAT.  We are Indians, we call for a strike (bandh or hartal) on every petrol-diesel price hike, but will never stop using cars for 2kms office/market drive nor practice car pooling/public transport.

We are Indians, We protest on the streets and on social media when a woman is raped, but still find cheap thrill in eve teasing women around us. We are Indians, We complain everyday about lack of cleanliness and garbage piles on our roads, but we still spit on roads and throw waste lavishly out of our cars or buses onto the roads. We are Indians, We claim top positions in world’s best companies and organizations, but forget to get investments or to start big ventures in our country. We are Indians, we pretend to be unhappy with politics and politicians but never dare to stand for elections or support a new party. We are Indians, we do hunger strikes at Jantar Mandir and walk around the streets with candles in hand to stop corruption, but prefers to pay 100 Rs bribe to the cop and getaway when caught for a violation on road.

We are Indians, We claim to be patriotic and pretend to be in love with the country, but do nothing absolutely for a better India !

Let us make a change starting with the place we study, work or live and march towards a better India.
Its time we listen to Vivekanda’s exhortation: “Let us all work hard, my brethren; this is no time for sleep. On our work depends the coming of the India of the future. She is there ready waiting. She is only sleeping. Arise and awake, and see her seated here, on her eternal throne, rejuvenated, more glorious than she ever was — this motherland of ours.”

A thousand problems plague India today. Feigning ignorance or mocking will bring about no revolution. The emerging youth of India, well-educated, capable of looking beyond petty issues and adept to make informed decisions, is expected to take nation forward and rid her of the feeling of malaise. Whether you feel you are the shepherd or the sheep, it makes no difference as the path to be dread upon is the same. Arise, Awake Let us stop cursing darkness, but light a candle !!!

For all the rest of you, it is just, “Happy Independence day” again !

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Are you upset with the inflation? Are you worried about the corruption in India? Do you think Bin-Laden deserved better? Are you against Iran’s nuclear policy?  Do you feel Obama is partial? Upset with your company management? Are you a student punished by your school teacher ‘unnecessarily’? Worried about the Hole in Ozone Layer? Global warming? Team India’s Loss? Mourning on Some Bandit kings/queens death?

Wondering on how to make your voice heard???

Perplexed on how to get support for a ‘proposed strike’???

Confused on how to make your strike a huge success???

Good Bye to all your Fears !

Do you want to Strike ? Forget the cause ! Let it be anything… Bring it on!!!

We will ensure

  • You are heard over an area of 38,863 km2 (15,005 sq mi)
  • 100% participation of about 32,000,000 people
  • Success of your Strike!

Wondering who we are?

We are The Malayalis, from the so called ‘God’s Own Country’ – Kerala in South India.

Location:

Kerala in South India. bordered by Karnataka to the north and northeast, Tamil Nadu to the east and south, and the Arabian Sea on the west.

What we do ???

We  strike for you. We protest for you.  No questions ! No bargains ! Your cause can be anything under the sun. We will do it for you.  In our terms – we will do a ‘harthal’ on your behalf !

Major cities which can be involved?

Thiruvananthapuram, state capital, Kochi and Kozhikode are other major cities. Also all other District Head quarters can be involved. You may opt to customize your strike limited to certain cities, towns or villages based on your requirements.

Forget the Cause ! Lets strike !!

Salient Features:

  • World wide attention as, Kerala is a top tourist spot. National Geographic’s Traveler magazine names Kerala as one of the “ten paradises of the world”. So the visitors and tourists who get held up here, on your strike day, will carry back ‘fond memories’, thus giving your cause a global exposure! Think about it… a strike in the ‘paradise;’ for your ‘cause’
  • Kerala has the highest Human Development Index in India, slightly higher than that of most developed countries. Ever thought about it? Getting the people with the one of the highest HDI in world take part in a strike for ‘your’ cause?
  • The state has the highest literacy rate in India with 99 percent. Well, now no one can say you just got some illiterate morons to protest for you.
  •  First e-literate state in India. The youngsters here will be quick in sharing the news of your strike within seconds through World Wide Web and social networking. In fact  e-cards and FB wishes like “Happy Harthal” will be circulated free of Cost !
  • Hospitals, Banks, Schools are present in almost all the villages. So you can ensure your strike reaches the ‘soul of India’ – ‘the villages’.
  • Kerala hosts two major political alliances: the United Democratic Front (India) (UDF—led by the Indian National Congress) and the Left Democratic Front (Kerala) (LDF—led by the Communist Party of India (Marxist) (CPI(M)).Strikes, protests and marches are ubiquitous in Kerala due to the comparatively strong presence of labor unions. Government, Police Force and Public Servants will be at your service to ensure a ‘smooth and hassle free’ Strike or Harthal.
  • The state treasury has suffered loss of thousands of millions of rupees thanks to the state staging over 100 hartals annually in recent times. A record total of 223 hartals were observed in 2006, resulting in a revenue loss of over 2000 crore. So never bother about the financial problems of people or government here. Nobody cares! We are used to it !
  • Kerala has 145,704 kilometres (90,536 mi) of roads (4.2% of India’s total). This translates to about 4.62 kilometres (2.87 mi) of road per thousand population, compared to an all India average of 2.59 kilometres (1.61 mi). Virtually all of Kerala’s villages are connected by road. So your strike and its impact will reach out to a larger area by blocking these roads.
  • The National Family Health Survey – 3, conducted in 2007 ranked Kerala as a state with the highest media exposure in India. Dozens of newspapers are published in Kerala, in nine major languages, but principally Malayalam and English. All these newspapers will carry the news about your proposed harthal or strike right from the day you announce. A special reminder on the day in the front page will be done for free. Thanks to the Malyali’s habit of reading newspaper daily. No one will miss this news! A post-strike coverage with color photos and special reports might follow, if you care to make your strike more interesting.
  •  Multi system operators provide a mix of Malayalam, English and international channels via cable television. Right from state owned Dooradarshan to other private news and entertainment channels will screen your press conference ‘Live’ and will do free “Scrolls” and “Breaking News” regarding your Hartal. On the day of your strike they might also take up a talk show or a debate cum discussion. Be preaperd to appear for at least 20-30 ‘Live Phone in Programs’ on these channels (YOU WONT BE CHARGED FOR ALL THIS 🙂 ). More publicity than you can ever imagine for you and your Cause!
  • Last but not the least, for the people here; neither your cause, nor your political/social/religious background is important. You would be surprised again to know that the men and women here will gladly sit at home for even the ‘silliest’ cause you can give them. They will never ask you or ask themselves about the benefits they get from the strike!!!! And will NEVER EVER fail to respond to your exhortation!

Details of People strength for your cause:-

About 31,841,374 people will support you irrespective of what your cause is.

Males : 15,471,420

Females : 16,369,955

 Assured participation rate – 100%

Just think …..about 32,000,000 people  will be supporting you just like that, with a people spread of 820 people every km²,!!!

What you have to do ???

Nothing much!!!  If you can afford and have enough time try calling a press meet 2 days before the proposed strike for best results.  The efficient Kerala media will do the rest.

Don’t have enough time for all that? Ok! Fine! Just give a ring to minimum 3 channels and 3 newspapers! Before you know, your strike will happen with 100% participation and in minutes you will be a media celebrity!

You need not hire men to protest or stop vehicles or throw stones, you will be surprised by the number of random volunteers coming from nowhere to support the ‘unknown’ cause !

so,

STRIKE WITH US for THE BEST RESULTS!!!

HAPPY HARTAL !

Make your Hartal more special with our 'custom made' effects

Foot Note:-

For special Effects viz. Belting stones, burning effigies, vandalizing public properties etc . Contact trade unions or local parties in advance. Standard Charges Apply.Inform police department in advance for Water Canons, Cane Chase etc.
 
Big Thanks to Google Image search and the artist for the images. Credit to Wikipedia for the Facts and Figures quoted. And Most importantly thanks to the guys who called for an all India Strike Today, mkaing me so jobless and bored ! 
 on 28th February 2012, from Kerala, India

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1.I am not a Mallu or a MAL…… I am a Malayali

2.Shakeela is not from my state

3.Sreesanth is from my state,but I hate him much more than you all do.

4.I don’t eat or drink any product from Rubber tree, we just sell them and earn much more than what you do earn in a month.

5.I may like Rajnikanth or Shah Rukh Khan…..but I always prefer Mohanlal

6.I love cricket…but I love football more

7.I do drink Gin and Scotch !! But I love Brandy and toddy more !!!

8.All my uncles are not in Dubai/Muscat …

9. I might get a huge dowry, that is because the girls family is rich !!!!

10.I am an alcoholic,unless I am impotent or just plainly scared of mom.

11.I may or may not be Marxist,but essentially a socialist

12.I may not laugh at your joke…no offenses..blame it on Jagathy Sreekumar & other malyalam comedians…….I have already heard them.

13.You may not laugh at my joke…no offenses…blame it on Sreenivasan…you would not understand our level. But you can laugh for it when our movies gets dubbed or remade in your languages !!!

14.I am a non vegetarian…..and Yes I eat beef and Pork

15.If you find me and another malayali shouting at each other animatedly at the top of our voices calling each other names…never bother we are just having a healthy discussion on Mammootty and Mohanlal.

16.When I was at school….I never bunked…we just called a strike…

17.Yes, I use a lungi….and even play, sleep, run, dance with it…..now you can’t beat that.

18.I don’t waste money, because I think always about Family, Future and Savings !!!!!

19.I don’t like you much, I may look down upon you…can’t help it….that is how we are made…. Attitude I say !!!!

20.I do have an accent problem while I speak English, but in my state even beggars know how to read and write !!!!

 

(The post is inspired by a similar article on FB, I just editted few points.. so all the credit to the Bro. who came up with the ideas….. Yeah, We malyalis do flick ideas at times …. but we do acknowledge at least!!!)

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24: FEB :2010 , 6:30 PM

Breaking records is no big deal for this little man from Mumbai. Cricket is his passion ! Often called the God Of Indian Cricket. This master blaster is here to justify all the tags ! Yeah ! Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar just scored a double century against South Africa at Gwalior in the 2nd ODI. As Millions of eyes glued on the television screens and thousands in the stadium witnessed the genius of world cricket took a single and reached the magic figure.

We are indeed lucky to be in the present when Sachin Tendulkar is dominating the world Cricket. Where are the people who told it’s time for him to retire? Where are the smart news reporters and columnists who wrote it is the end of Sachin’s era? This one was for all of them. Sachin was so young today that it looked like Sachin’s era has just begun ! At a strike rate of 139.0, getting to the best ever score in International Cricket ,never looked like a herculean task for this man. He just sailed through brilliantly. Oh Boy !! It was a fest for the eyes. Shots all over ! punishing every single bowler. I bet no South African player would ever forget this innings. Be not surprised if any of them complain like Shane Warne that they see Sachin as a nightmare.

Sachin is on a dream run. Almost all the record in world cricket was tagged in his name long back. And now so he is into the business of creating new records. What a form he is in ! After four consecutive test centuries and a recent 175 mammoth against   Australia….. this one against South Africa ! Read those lines again, it’s not Bangladesh or Zimbabwe. We are talking about Australia and South Africa. Oye Sachin ! Oye !!

And Team India commendable performance and back up. Dinesh Karthik scoring to 70’s Dhoni in 60’s and Pathans quick 36, gave India the extra momentum to reach 401-3.  I have made this post just after Sachin’s Innings It does not at this point of time really bother me or rather does not bother at least a million of other fans, whether South Africa would make up to that target. For us It is SACHIN and just Sachin !! For at least some time we saw people even abusing Dhoni who was actually playing well for India’s sake but was not giving Tendulkar strike in the last three overs. Another moment of tension was when Sachin ran for a second run when he was in 170’s and just manged to get back to the crease !

I feel jealous of the spectators at Gwalior, who watched this great innings live in the stadium.  But definitely watching the same in St. Johns Medical College Recreation Room was no less fun either. It was just about being wild once Sachin crossed 170. Myself, Nitin and a few other friends were supposed to go and cheer for my batch team who was playing an Inter Class Volleyball Match. I feel glad that I missed the Volleyball Match. If not I would not have witnessed history in making……

Thank you Sachin for being in the game making such a huge presence in our times !

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Divide & Rule

Till now I had 5 Ap ites in my batch. Following what is happening  to Andhra Paradesh, I fear I will have just 1 Ap ite in my batch and 4 Teluganites ( please excuse me, if that is not the official term) from now on. Interesting… Our list of Indians will have some additions for sure.  Mals, Tams, Apites, Kannadikas, Mumbikars to be joined by Teluganites. Good let the list of Indians grow.  But are you not missing India and Indians in it ?

I thought ‘Divide and Rule’ was a British Policy but Indian Politicians seem to be interested in clinging on to the same at least when it comes to state formations. The Recent developments make you think so.

I cannot and need not be a judge about whether the division of AP is good or bad but it does not look so good right now at least on the large scale for India. I have read and heard enough about the under development of Telugana and the discrimination over the years. The cry for a separate state, it seems existed right from the beginning. But somehow Andhra Pradesh seemed to sail through and Hyderabad emerged as one of the top cities in South Asia. But eventhough Hyderabad prospered the surrounding Telugana states did not prosper enough over the years.

So, as it is preached by pro-telugana leaders a division is the only way to improve the condition of Telugana. I feel they have a point in that. Smaller territory, with leaders form the same area… sounds good. But still the fear is that will it repeat a Eutopia?

Telugana though not fertile like coastal Andhra, is rich in coal mines, has electric power stations and some big industries and IT around Hyderabad. Jarkhand, one among the latest states in the country had a similar upper hand and still its struggling. Hope that the new leaders of the new state -TELUGANA do not concentrate on looting the resources and making the people just more backward and poorer.

Apart from, Worries for Telugana and Problems for AP, I think the worry for the union government and concern for other Indians would be about the other STATE demands which have started in different parts of our country. After the telugana hunger stike and its success, the Ghorkha land fighters from Darjelling have decided to adopt the same style with a little added flavor – of violence and moral policing. Not to forget Mayawathi’s ‘repeated warning letters’ to PM demanding division of UP into three different states . Karnataka is soon to follow with some uprising already in Southern Side.

This indeed will be a big headache for the Manmohanji and Sonia Gandhi. It would be intresting to see how UPA tackles this. How ever they do if more division of states are put into effect that will just witness emergence of new local leaders, who become national leaders overnight… will lead to more social and cultural separations… Let us not forget though we write about Unity in diversity, A tamilian is still called a Madrasi or Tam, A keralite – the mallus and so on… And the Indian seems to be dead among all these nick names !

Bottom line… my worry is not about TELUGANA getting a separate state status or whatever… But the question is Why We Indians Want to Divide ourselves again and again… Do you call this is still within our unity and not about any separatism…. I doubt especially when “Telugana Jago and Andhra Bhago” , “Quit Mumbai” and similar exhortations are in the air !

Yours truly.. Jino Joy !

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