Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘Kerala’

Are you upset with the inflation? Are you worried about the corruption in India? Do you think Bin-Laden deserved better? Are you against Iran’s nuclear policy?  Do you feel Obama is partial? Upset with your company management? Are you a student punished by your school teacher ‘unnecessarily’? Worried about the Hole in Ozone Layer? Global warming? Team India’s Loss? Mourning on Some Bandit kings/queens death?

Wondering on how to make your voice heard???

Perplexed on how to get support for a ‘proposed strike’???

Confused on how to make your strike a huge success???

Good Bye to all your Fears !

Do you want to Strike ? Forget the cause ! Let it be anything… Bring it on!!!

We will ensure

  • You are heard over an area of 38,863 km2 (15,005 sq mi)
  • 100% participation of about 32,000,000 people
  • Success of your Strike!

Wondering who we are?

We are The Malayalis, from the so called ‘God’s Own Country’ – Kerala in South India.

Location:

Kerala in South India. bordered by Karnataka to the north and northeast, Tamil Nadu to the east and south, and the Arabian Sea on the west.

What we do ???

We  strike for you. We protest for you.  No questions ! No bargains ! Your cause can be anything under the sun. We will do it for you.  In our terms – we will do a ‘harthal’ on your behalf !

Major cities which can be involved?

Thiruvananthapuram, state capital, Kochi and Kozhikode are other major cities. Also all other District Head quarters can be involved. You may opt to customize your strike limited to certain cities, towns or villages based on your requirements.

Forget the Cause ! Lets strike !!

Salient Features:

  • World wide attention as, Kerala is a top tourist spot. National Geographic’s Traveler magazine names Kerala as one of the “ten paradises of the world”. So the visitors and tourists who get held up here, on your strike day, will carry back ‘fond memories’, thus giving your cause a global exposure! Think about it… a strike in the ‘paradise;’ for your ‘cause’
  • Kerala has the highest Human Development Index in India, slightly higher than that of most developed countries. Ever thought about it? Getting the people with the one of the highest HDI in world take part in a strike for ‘your’ cause?
  • The state has the highest literacy rate in India with 99 percent. Well, now no one can say you just got some illiterate morons to protest for you.
  •  First e-literate state in India. The youngsters here will be quick in sharing the news of your strike within seconds through World Wide Web and social networking. In fact  e-cards and FB wishes like “Happy Harthal” will be circulated free of Cost !
  • Hospitals, Banks, Schools are present in almost all the villages. So you can ensure your strike reaches the ‘soul of India’ – ‘the villages’.
  • Kerala hosts two major political alliances: the United Democratic Front (India) (UDF—led by the Indian National Congress) and the Left Democratic Front (Kerala) (LDF—led by the Communist Party of India (Marxist) (CPI(M)).Strikes, protests and marches are ubiquitous in Kerala due to the comparatively strong presence of labor unions. Government, Police Force and Public Servants will be at your service to ensure a ‘smooth and hassle free’ Strike or Harthal.
  • The state treasury has suffered loss of thousands of millions of rupees thanks to the state staging over 100 hartals annually in recent times. A record total of 223 hartals were observed in 2006, resulting in a revenue loss of over 2000 crore. So never bother about the financial problems of people or government here. Nobody cares! We are used to it !
  • Kerala has 145,704 kilometres (90,536 mi) of roads (4.2% of India’s total). This translates to about 4.62 kilometres (2.87 mi) of road per thousand population, compared to an all India average of 2.59 kilometres (1.61 mi). Virtually all of Kerala’s villages are connected by road. So your strike and its impact will reach out to a larger area by blocking these roads.
  • The National Family Health Survey – 3, conducted in 2007 ranked Kerala as a state with the highest media exposure in India. Dozens of newspapers are published in Kerala, in nine major languages, but principally Malayalam and English. All these newspapers will carry the news about your proposed harthal or strike right from the day you announce. A special reminder on the day in the front page will be done for free. Thanks to the Malyali’s habit of reading newspaper daily. No one will miss this news! A post-strike coverage with color photos and special reports might follow, if you care to make your strike more interesting.
  •  Multi system operators provide a mix of Malayalam, English and international channels via cable television. Right from state owned Dooradarshan to other private news and entertainment channels will screen your press conference ‘Live’ and will do free “Scrolls” and “Breaking News” regarding your Hartal. On the day of your strike they might also take up a talk show or a debate cum discussion. Be preaperd to appear for at least 20-30 ‘Live Phone in Programs’ on these channels (YOU WONT BE CHARGED FOR ALL THIS 🙂 ). More publicity than you can ever imagine for you and your Cause!
  • Last but not the least, for the people here; neither your cause, nor your political/social/religious background is important. You would be surprised again to know that the men and women here will gladly sit at home for even the ‘silliest’ cause you can give them. They will never ask you or ask themselves about the benefits they get from the strike!!!! And will NEVER EVER fail to respond to your exhortation!

Details of People strength for your cause:-

About 31,841,374 people will support you irrespective of what your cause is.

Males : 15,471,420

Females : 16,369,955

 Assured participation rate – 100%

Just think …..about 32,000,000 people  will be supporting you just like that, with a people spread of 820 people every km²,!!!

What you have to do ???

Nothing much!!!  If you can afford and have enough time try calling a press meet 2 days before the proposed strike for best results.  The efficient Kerala media will do the rest.

Don’t have enough time for all that? Ok! Fine! Just give a ring to minimum 3 channels and 3 newspapers! Before you know, your strike will happen with 100% participation and in minutes you will be a media celebrity!

You need not hire men to protest or stop vehicles or throw stones, you will be surprised by the number of random volunteers coming from nowhere to support the ‘unknown’ cause !

so,

STRIKE WITH US for THE BEST RESULTS!!!

HAPPY HARTAL !

Make your Hartal more special with our 'custom made' effects

Foot Note:-

For special Effects viz. Belting stones, burning effigies, vandalizing public properties etc . Contact trade unions or local parties in advance. Standard Charges Apply.Inform police department in advance for Water Canons, Cane Chase etc.
 
Big Thanks to Google Image search and the artist for the images. Credit to Wikipedia for the Facts and Figures quoted. And Most importantly thanks to the guys who called for an all India Strike Today, mkaing me so jobless and bored ! 
 on 28th February 2012, from Kerala, India

Read Full Post »

 

1.I am not a Mallu or a MAL…… I am a Malayali

2.Shakeela is not from my state

3.Sreesanth is from my state,but I hate him much more than you all do.

4.I don’t eat or drink any product from Rubber tree, we just sell them and earn much more than what you do earn in a month.

5.I may like Rajnikanth or Shah Rukh Khan…..but I always prefer Mohanlal

6.I love cricket…but I love football more

7.I do drink Gin and Scotch !! But I love Brandy and toddy more !!!

8.All my uncles are not in Dubai/Muscat …

9. I might get a huge dowry, that is because the girls family is rich !!!!

10.I am an alcoholic,unless I am impotent or just plainly scared of mom.

11.I may or may not be Marxist,but essentially a socialist

12.I may not laugh at your joke…no offenses..blame it on Jagathy Sreekumar & other malyalam comedians…….I have already heard them.

13.You may not laugh at my joke…no offenses…blame it on Sreenivasan…you would not understand our level. But you can laugh for it when our movies gets dubbed or remade in your languages !!!

14.I am a non vegetarian…..and Yes I eat beef and Pork

15.If you find me and another malayali shouting at each other animatedly at the top of our voices calling each other names…never bother we are just having a healthy discussion on Mammootty and Mohanlal.

16.When I was at school….I never bunked…we just called a strike…

17.Yes, I use a lungi….and even play, sleep, run, dance with it…..now you can’t beat that.

18.I don’t waste money, because I think always about Family, Future and Savings !!!!!

19.I don’t like you much, I may look down upon you…can’t help it….that is how we are made…. Attitude I say !!!!

20.I do have an accent problem while I speak English, but in my state even beggars know how to read and write !!!!

 

(The post is inspired by a similar article on FB, I just editted few points.. so all the credit to the Bro. who came up with the ideas….. Yeah, We malyalis do flick ideas at times …. but we do acknowledge at least!!!)

Read Full Post »

Kerala often described as God’s own country is undoubtedly one of the world’s most favorite tourist destinations. I take pride in inviting my friends to Kerala and showing them this beautiful place and telling “Look, How beauteous the place is that hath so many Godly creations”  (Shakespeare). Here is a list of few things and places that one must not miss on a visit to Kerala. This list is based on my personal experience, visits, tours and trips to various parts of Kerala during various occasions. Also admitting few points are inspired from various other tourism websites. Take this as a guide if you are planning to visit Kerala. You may contact for more details. Wishing you all a pleasant stay in God’s Own Country. Cheers  !!

  1. Wake up to World’s Best (?)  Breakfast! (Appam, Tapioca, Idiappam, Puttu)
  2. Try a home stay with a traditional Malayali Family for your accommodation
  3. Go for morning walk in Paddy Fields!
  4. Take a Swig of ‘Madhura kallu’ (sweet toddy extracted from the coconut palm) and have with exotic karimeen pollichathu and tapioca in a toddy parlor
  5. Houseboat cruise through Vemband lake (start from Kumarakom/ Kollam, Stay on boat the whole night if you can afford and try the fresh toddy available with the food cooked on the boat)
  6. See Chinese fishing nets (can find along Vembanad Lake/ Fort Cochin) and choose your pick from the Fisherman’s net. Get it fried in the traditional way and eat.
  7. Kappa + Meen Curry (Tapioca + Fish) – Must Try Kerala Combo
  8. Trek into Forests of Kerala and enjoy wild life
  9. Wear a Kerala Saree / Traditional Dhothi (Mundu)
  10. Enjoy Panchavadyam & Pandimelam (Temple Music of Kerala)
  11. Cheer a Snake Boat Race (The famous Nehru Trophy Race is organized on the 2nd Saturday of August every year)
  12. Feel the rain on your body (Visit Kerala during Monsoon)
  13. Get an Ayurvedic Massage
  14. Enjoy Sunset on Beaches of Kerala (Kovalam, Allepy, Cherai)
  15. Get wet under Athirapalli or any other Waterfalls
  16. Ride on an Elephant
  17. Thrissur Pooram – The Festival at Thrissur Vadakumnathan Temple
  18. Visit Jewish Street and Synagouge at Cochin
  19. Watch a Malayalam Movie with friends
  20. Visit the lushy hills of Munnar
  21. Go for a boat ride in Thekaddy
  22. Learn few Malayalam Words, try speaking to local guys (probably while asking the way etc.)
  23. Go for a walk in to the sea at Kappad Beach, Calicut
  24. Trip to Western Ghats in Palaghat
  25. Explore exotic Wayanad.
  26. Visit the famous temples/ Churches in Kerala
  27. Walk into a palace.
  28. Watch Thiruvathira, Kathakali, Mohniattam or Thullal
  29. Visit Wagamon Hills, Elaveezha Poonchira, or Ramakallmedu
  30. Attend a Syrian Catholic Mass
  31. Climb to a tree house, live in one!
  32. Spend time on a riverside, cross the river, Get Wet!
  33. Drive through ThannerMukham, Allepy- Cherthala and spend time on the road side
  34. Sip Tender Coconut
  35. See how Rubber tapping + Processing is done and visit Rubber Plantations.
  36. Try traveling in a local Bus / KSRTC
  37. Visit an Elephant Training Camp
  38. Go on a pilgrimage climbing the hills at Sabarimala or Malayatoor or Wagamon
  39. Try playing Nadan panthukalli (a local Ball Game)
  40. Spend your evening at Marine Drive, Ernakulam
  41. Attend a traditional Kerala Wedding
  42. Try tune into any Local FM Channel ; Call up the RJ and come on air
  43. Enjoy a traditional Kerala Sadhya
  44. Sip worlds finest tea and Coffee
  45. Collect some Spices and take home.
  46. Shop for antiques (you find a lot of such shops in Jew Street and Fort Kochi)
  47. Sunbath on Kovalam Beech
  48. Climb rugged heights
  49. Try Coconut hair oil and take bath after a full body massage with coconut oil.
  50. Visit the Trivandrum Zoo, one among the best designed in Asia amidst a woodland, lakes and lawns
  51. Explore the Forts of Kerala (Bekel Fort, Tippu Sultan Fort, Plaghat etc)
  52. Explore the Prehistoric Settlements at Edakkal Caves, Wayanad
  53. Visit the Snake Park at Parassinikadavu, Kannur, which is the only one of its kind in the whole of India.
  54. Try a Swing in Kerala (especially in Onam Season)
  55. Celebrate Onam in Kerala
  56. Engage in Water Sports at Veli beach, Trivandrum
  57. Sit till late night on Shangumugham Beach, Trivandrum
  58. Spot Nilghiri Thar in Eravikulam National Park, Munnar
  59. Sunset at Varkala Beach
  60. Retreat to Wayanad for a peaceful Weekend.
  61. Rent a Car and Drive through Munnar/Wayand/Wagamon/Kumuli/Idukki Routes

Read Full Post »